In another chat, demonstrating how play can help children speak about their concerns, Karli and Elmo appear with an elephant toy that accidentally knocks over building blocks. No mum, I can’t FaceTime right now, I have to practice my speech in the mirror for at least 10 hours and the child is going to play the guitar until he’s a virtuoso. You ask them to do a small, menial task - empty the dishwasher, put the towels in the washing machine, get out of bed - but no, they can’t right now they have "a lot on" and "will see if they can get round to it later". And no, they’re not building a massive lasagna in Wembley. They haven’t made an attempt to make peace with lockdown, they’re a blinds-closed, Netflix all day kinda quarantiner and will scoff at any suggestion of booking reading or yoga. You haven’t heard from them at all since lockdown, not sure if they’re still around.



Firing off dickpics and thot shots to each other like they’re in limited supply. She’s panic bought enough pasta and loo roll for an army, and stocked the fridge like it’s the Christmas and Easter hols combined. They’re a fucking pain in the arse and you’ve had enough. It’s literally the easiest thing you can do and yet despite everyone being told the same information these people will stand right behind you in the queue, probably start coughing and then when you move away they give you a dirty look as if you’ve royally offended them. They never looked at the camera or mugged for the camera or seemed to pay any attention whatsoever to the fact that they were being watched. " she says to you every day when the figures get released, barely concealing her smile. Let’s get into it, shall we? Before I start my Sunday crying hour. Start a herb garden?





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