Now, I realise that I am supposed to be an oracle on not looking too ropey.
However, I have to admit that the past couple of weeks have seen me suffering from an acute case of BSF — more commonly known as the Between Seasons Face.
You'll know the BSF.

You may even have it, depending on what area of the country you occupy. Down south, it's kicked off. In more northerly climes, matters may still be pending.
The condition strikes when your complexion has reached its pinnacle of winter soreness/drabness/ biscuit-induced collagen collapse at the same moment that the light changes and, all of a sudden, you look 4004.

Or, in my case, 4006.
An analogous moment happens with your wardrobe: one minute you're in black jumpers and woolly hats. The next, it's still cold, but the sun makes you look like a vampiric cat burglar. Your outfit no longer works until you fiddle around with what goes where and how.




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Alas, the world is rather less than ideal, so I have been saving face with the speedy DIY version of her method. Take a look at 'Celebrity facialist Su-Man's two-minute skin rejuvenating self-facial' on YouTube.
Su-man has longer guides available, but the fact that this only takes 120 seconds means I'll actually do the thing, possibly even morning and night.

When your face has flopped, this will de-flop it. Warm a little face oil on your fingers and pummel ever upwards.
At this point, I forgo new- fangled gimmickry in favour of one of the beauty world's tried-and-tested classics.
For many, this will be Estee Lauder's Advanced Night Repair Serum (?60 for 30ml, esteelauder.co.uk) or Clarins's Double Serum (?60 for 30ml, clarins.co.uk), both launched in the 1980s.
They just sort things: the former was revolutionary in introducing the idea of repair to skincare, and the latter is the brand's all-time top seller.
If you prefer relative new brooms, there is Lancome's Advanced Genifique Serum (?34 for 20ml, lancome.co.uk), a phenomenon as of 2009; or Shiseido's Ultimune Power Infusing Concentrate (?32 for 15ml, lookfantastic.com), which hit shelves in 2014.

They're both high-tech superstars.
There's a reason these unguents are loved and relied on: they get results, not merely for one cohort, but for generations. All are owned by huge companies with enough money to constantly update their formulas.
Advanced Night Repair Serum benefits from 40 years of expertise, and is so revolutionary it is patented until 2033. Double Serum has won 434 awards.
The microbiome — the community of bacteria that live in or on your body — is currently being marketed as a new concept in beauty.

Advanced Genifique is the result of more than 15 years of research and 57 studies on the subject, carried out by Lancome.
Invest in one of these big boys and your complexion will improve. And, of course, you are allowed to cheat with make-up.
My routine has become: Charlotte Tilbury Collagen Superfusion Face Oil (?60 for 30ml, charlottetilbury.com) and Charlotte Tilbury Brightening Youth Glow primer (?39), followed by a 'skindation' or skincare/foundation hybrid such as Rose Inc Skin Enhance Luminous Tinted Serum (?36, spacenk.com).
Open up your eyes by curling and winging your lashes (extend the outer corners with extra mascara), then add a spot of blush and the horror will abate.
MY ICON OF THE WEEK