Vinnie Jones has opened up on his enduring struggle coping with the tragic death of his wife Tanya three years ago.
The hard man footballer-turned-actor, now 57, admits the loss of his 'rock' Tanya in 2019 after a six-year battle with skin cancer 'still doesn't feel real' in an exclusive interview.
Speaking on the mental health platform Pub Talk produced by streaming service Mola and presented by former Arsenal star Ray Parlour and broadcaster Alan Brazil, Jones - one of the leaders of Wimbledon's Crazy Gang who shook up English football in the 1990s with their aggressive play and wild off-pitch behaviour - also candidly discusses his alcoholism and having a 'massive punch-up' with Manchester United players. 



But is in discussing his grief for Tanya, who was 53 when she died, that Jones reveals a very different side to his personality.
Jones describes going to a golf club with his father-in-law on a Saturday evening in July after Tanya, his wife of 25 years, had passed away in the morning.
He says: 'We had nine holes, everyone was there. But the weird thing was, everybody was just doing their normal thing. This is the most traumatic day of our lives. This girl has just died, we're never going to see her again and everything is just carrying on.
'Every day it's there. Three quarters of my day. When I'm working I'm not thinking about it. If I'm just drifting, doing stuff or driving, it still hasn't… it's still not real to me. It's still not real that she's not there.' 





Jones spoke on 'Pub Talk', a platform for ex-sports stars to discuss mental health










Jones married his childhood sweetheart Tanya in 1994. Both fought battles with melanoma






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Jones has written a book about his experiences, мультики Lost Without You: Loving And Losing Tanya.
In 2013, they were both diagnosed with melanoma, the most dangerous form of skin cancer which kills around 2,000 people every year in the UK, and fought it together, getting the all-clear two years later. However, the disease would later return for Tanya.
Jones has blamed his outdoor lifestyle for the cancer - aggravated by his move to Los Angeles with Tanya to pursue his film career - while he says her cancer was triggered by drugs she took since having a heart transplant in her early 20s.
Jones and Tanya had met aged 12 before exchanging vows in 1994, with the actor previously admitting on Piers Morgan's Life Stories that he will never remarry. 
A recovering alcoholic, Jones is now nearly a decade sober. The former Wales, Leeds and Chelsea defensive midfielder also reveals on how bad things became when he was still drinking heavily, including getting smashed in the face with a glass in a row over a game of pool.
He adds: 'I got into a terrible tear-up in South Dakota. Had 68 stitches in my face. All the situations I got in could have been avoided without the booze… You see it coming.
'When I was in deep s***, handcuffs, she (Tanya) was more of my worry than the coppers or anything. It was her reaction. It was letting her down and disappointing her. Embarrassing her - they were the hard things.'