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Anyone who is 18 or older can create a profile and be open about their kinkiness in a safe online environment. You can see one such story on the blog right now. I would be shocked and confused by this, except for one simple factor: Less than a decade ago I would have been RIGHT THERE WITH THEM. Truthfully, being successful with women is partly about being in the right place at the right time; but even more than that - it is all about controlling your setting and knowing how to approach the right women. You shouldn't feel much more than the heat and the tightness as you push into her - definitely no pulling. We've evolved in a way that means our instinct is to behave in ways which ensure as much of our own DNA survives to the next generation as possible. Increased friction means more stimulation, which mean you lose it too fast.